Lynx Bullet Fun Times

So guys, here we go. The first part of a three part episode of the greatest weekend in living history! Picture this, it is late Wednesday/early Thursday and I am unable to get any sleep due to the sheer excitement pumping through my veins. I eventually get to sleep but wake up at about 10ish and get myself ready to meet Dave (DUD Rock.) Anyway, Dave was due to get into Southampton Central at 2:22 and was accompanied by the foods of the Gods otherwise known as Yummy Pigeon. We get to my house and we head off to Somerfield inorder to get some Black Sheep. Dare I say, this time I did not lose said Pigeon as it was consumed in my house and not in a massive queue in London!!! In preparation for BTL, Dave brought down a copy of Zoo which we perved over for a fair amount of time which made us both rather happy

Anyway after fine dining, we leave the house, collar popped cool of course, and we make our way to the station I discover a new ticket which saved me about £10 overall which included all underground needs aswell as the return to Waterloo. Upon arrival to London we make our way to the underground where we come across our 1st mare!! Now I appreciate most readers here will not be familiar with the Underground however it has to be one of the worst experiences ever! Our mare occurs at a stop called Bank. When we get there, we need to make a change in order to get to Liverpool Street station. Little did we know what fate would befall us! Upon arriving at the platform we needed, I see a hoard of people waiting to get onto the same train as us. I turn to Dave and say "we are now about to experience true Underground travel" Anyway we all somehow fit into the train but we are packed like sardines. Everyone is huddled up together and I wind up saying to Dave, albeit rather loudly, "Someone in here smells rather nice!" This lead to a few giggles from Dave, me and several train goers. Eventually we get to Liverpool Street station having barged our way through a few people. However we now reach the point of our 2nd mare!!!

Our 2nd mare occurs via the fact that we had no idea where Cargo (the venue for the party) was. I thought (this being the operative word) that my phone with its swanky gps system and sat nav would find it. Sadly this was not the case. It found everything else but the club. We decide to head toward Shoreditch station after 20 minutes of confusion and eventually we come across a map detailing of where we needed to be. Thankfully a rather friendly Londoner (yes they actually exist) helped us out and told us where to go and eventually we wind up outside the club!

Upon arrival we notice a huge Lynx Bullet can lighting thing with light protruding from it. Then a millisecond after that we notice a collection of BANG TIDY LADIES. We waited in a queue getting ready to go in and several Lynx babes were walking up and down the queue spraying guys and offering free samples. Now at this point I would like to point out that Dave had bought some before he left York and he gave me one (legend.) Now I add this because when the BTL approach us, we point out we bought some from Boots already in preparation for said night. Needless to say, they were very impressed. They asked us if it had been working to which Dave unequivicallay says yes. He has afterall been AMOGING back in York and I am witness to this, I of course have pulled a little bit too! Anyway I receive a high 5 off one of the Lynx babes. This would be the start of us owning London and the party!!

Eventually we get into the club and our initial reaction was of disappoinment. We look around and take note of how small the club was. We go on a wander around the club to check out whats going on and we slowly get at ease with it. There was the main seating area where the bar was, there was a dance floor where a few of the BTL were "stationed" and an outside terrace for smokers and people wanting fresh air! We go buy beer and cider (beer for me, cider for Dave.) Now Dave and I have noticed we have one weakness. We cannot say no to BTL. I say this as there were free drinks on offer that came in the form of shots of something very alcoholic and very strong and very disgusting! Anyway a couple of BTL offer the shots to us and we duly oblige. This was before we knew of the taste! We neck it, pull a funny face and go off to dance. Now for those of you who know Dave and I together when we dance we both get together and pull off a certain pose! Now this pose being DX! Dave assumes the position of HHH while I am Shawn Michaels. In doing this, I notice (Dave probably did too) that the Lynx babes kept noticing us. After a few more shots of God knows what, and more DX poses, one of them approaches us and tells us she likes our crazy nature. She stays with us for a bit talking to us asking us where we are from and what we do. She also points out that one of the BTL is from York. We never did find out which one it was but we quite happy that we were wel represented! After a while we get a photo with her each and she heads back. We get back to doing our thing, walking about and we spot a booth. Upon closer inspection we notice that Lynx babes are in there offering a photo opportunity with them. We decide it would be cool to get an official photo so we await our turn. For my photo I actually turn to them both and say "You know what ladies, this is a dream come true. Not everyday I have 2 beautiful women on round me" They giggle as I leave and thank them and we wait for our photo. We await for our photo to come out and we get an apology from one girl saying that the photos will be some time. As we wait the same girl talks to us for a bit. To my amazement she was actually aware of what Civil Engineering was (at that point I could have kissed her.) She turned out to be from Brighton and was at Uni in Loughborough ( I should have gone there dont you agree?) Eventually we get our official photos and we go back to buy more alcohol and free shots! We dance some more and Dave somehow manages to get a kiss (albeit on the cheek but still...) off one of the BTL. Naturally I take a photo of this. It is a contender for pic of the year for sure. Eventually we head over to the seating area where there is an X Box and PS3 there. Why there needs to be such gadgets around when women are around to be perved on escapes me but we did not go on it. We sit down and Dave, buoyed from the kiss wants to hit on the more "common woman." He devises a plan of action (POA if you are Browny heh) but in the end we decide against it. We go outside for what was meant to be a brief moment but we end up sitting taking the odd photo and sit by a table drinking cider. I challenge Dave to a match at table football which of course I won. Next to the table sat an older woman. She talks to us for a bit. She was from Lincolnshire and was accompanied by her husband and 2 kids! This was very weird to us. Why would kids go with their parents to such an event? Anyway we wind up talking to her and her husband for a bit and slowly it appears to me that Dave is pulling her. Unwittingly nonetheless but still pulling. I sat there wondering why the husband did not give a fuck over this and it dawned on me. They were swingers. They wanted a 3 some with Dave and they were being subtle about it. The women plants a whopping great kiss on Dave as we are about to leave.

Now we come across our biggest and best mare to that date! Yes guys there are more mares to come in the up coming parts! We exit Cargo and try to make our way back to Liverpool Street. We wind up asking several different people how to get back as in our inebriated state we could not remember our left from our right let alone anything else. We get to the station and Dave tries to get a ticket for the Underground. We stood there together trying to find Waterloo but it is nowhere to be found. We both type it out thinking we were unable to spell!!! Only after 10 minutes of ranting and raving at the machine do I then realise we are using an over ground machine! I yell at Dave to quickly get downstairs to the underground and eventually we get a ticket to Waterloo. Fortunately, the tube was not busy at all and eventually we make it back to Waterloo. The journey from there to Southampton was painless. We just slept a bit as we had naff all the morning before! We get a taxi from the station and get back to the house. It is about 4am in the morning and we await the arrival of our 3rd blogger and good friend Sam (TCL).

That night was one hell of an opener to our greatest weekend ever. Alcohol, women and Pigeon. Stay tuned for the other 2 days of action. All packed with Yorkshire goodness. I hope you enjoyed reading part 1 as much as I enjoyed the night. I doubt it but you never know haha!

Big love to you all

xxxxx